You know you're pregnant when...
- You wish you had kept your stretchy leggings from the 80s.
- People stare at you at Walmart like you’re a One Man Freak Show.
- You secretly despise your skinny neighbors.
- Your child likes to use your tummy as a step ladder.
- It takes a good 30 seconds to roll over in bed at night.
- You eat a big bowl of ice cream while watching the Biggest Loser.
- You sleep with three pillows at night: one for your head, one between your knees, and one to prop up your large midsection.
- Your primary kids believe you when you say you’ll eat all the treats if they’re not good.
- Your husband tells your child to help you remember how to run in a couple months… thanks, dear.
- One month you look like the picture on the left, and the next, the picture on the right.
